Category Archives: Family of Man

It’s Family! What else do we have?

After Brain Surgery…

The Funky Dr of Love is missing part of his brain…an unwelcome part.  On Jan 7th, 2010 The Brain surgeon sawed open my skull and removed a tumor the size of a small tomato, or a tangerine, maybe.  After that big fun, he replaced my skull and repaired with cosmic mesh and titanium.

Sweet and Sassy Salsa is no more.  I’m done.  More later on that story.  And this one.

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Big Jeff’s Bail Out Plan

We should jail all the SOB’s that are responsible for this Wall Street mess.  That’s my money (and Yours) that they want to wash their dirty laundry in.

This is the gun we should use to BBQ them with.  Sent to me by JR in South Florida, Super Tailgater who uses Big Jeff’s Gourmet BBQ Sauce for his savory grilling needs.  You can join the elite corp of BBQers here.

You will have bragging rights.  Guaranteed!

MuchLove

BigJeffJones

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The economy is great!

We did the first day of the craft show on Main Street Deland, FL selling and demoing Sweet and Sassy Salsa  and only the walking dead appeared; on gurneys and in wheelchairs…with empty pockets! 

One poor sob (a young, good looking, able bodied man, not in a wheelchair) was embarrased to tell me he did not have $25 in pocket.  The day after payday?  So I wondered “…why are you wandering around on the street at a craft fair?  Why don’t you have a booth or at your job or hustle or sumpn?”

So all the vendors blamed the economy, you know, the price of gas for the fact that the unwashed masses are not spending money buying their trinkets.  I just laughed out loud.  I’ll tell you why.

Last month we were at the high dollar mall in Orlando/Sanford with the girls volleyball team.  Some of the mom’s were doing that parrot thing.  “Oh the economy is so bad…”  Stop I said, right now, and look around you.  Like this car? $70,000.  How about this one? $45,000.  And I went on & on.

10,000 cars at (let’s lowball it) $40,000 apiece.  $400,000,000…400 million dollars in one hundred acre parking lot!  The economy is not bad.  The money has not disappeared.  It has moved.  It’s not gone.  The press is screaming about the disappearing middle class.  What they are not telling us is that 2/3 of them are moving to the upper class.  I will go with them.  I am one of us.

So I refuse to be a parrot for bad news or a herd animal led to slaughter by the government or the clergy.  I give money to the WoundedWarriorProject.  I don’t do fear.  I create, I share, and I pray to the Almighty for the strength to do his will and I use the brain he gave me, so I work.  How about you?

So I will not be there next year because my upscale customer is not there.  Many of those vendors will change nothing, stay right where they be at and cry the blues because making a change (hustle) is too much work.

The only one that got it right was my identical twin Jimbo Bob Billy Ray’s woman Paura in the next booth over when she said “We don’t have the right goods for this crowd…what can we sell them?”

Ms Tia said, “Metamucil, so they can move their bowels.”  Now that’s funny.

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Apology from Jet Blue

All I get I reckon, is a “sorry bout that” which really means go kiss yourself.  7-10 days before they tell me they have no control over the weather…like I do.

Dear Mr. Jones,

Thank you for your email to JetBlue regarding your recent experience. We appreciate the opportunity to respond to your concerns.

Please accept our most sincere apologies for the challenges and frustrations you encountered as a result of your flight being cancelled due to severe weather impacting the eastern flight corridor.  We also apologize that the customer service you received at the airport failed to meet your expectations.

JetBlue has a team dedicated to making the decision which delayed or cancelled flights will receive compensation per the Bill of Rights. When compensation is determined, a notification is sent to the customer via email or by regular mail. This information should be received in the next 7-10 days. If you do not receive compensation notification from JetBlue, your flight(s) did not qualify for compensation.

Please remember that the Bill of Rights compensates for controllable irregularities, such as maintenance cancellations or delays and crew unavailability (not due to weather-event related disruption). Weather and Air Traffic Control delays are not something we have control over; therefore, compensation is not offered in these circumstances as per the Bill of Rights.

To view our Bill of Rights in its entirety, including the explanation of Controllable and Uncontrollable Irregularities, please click on the link below:

http://www.jetblue.com/about/ourcompany/promise/index.html

We hope you will consider JetBlue for your travel plans in the future.

Sincerely,

Jenny
Customer Commitment Crew
JetBlue Airways
Crewmember 52341

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An abomination airline

I went to Boston to play a gig with my brother.  It was fabulous until…

Here’s what I wrote the airline in question after being delayed:

I was told at the curbside baggage check that the flight was cancelled.  They could not
tell me when or why.  When I got inside the Floor agents had no idea what was to be done.  I was
rudely told to stand in line and wait my turn.  There were at least 1000 angry people in line.  When
I got to the desk, over 90 minutes later, I was told that the flight I was to be transferred to was
full (She lied to me!) and I was forced to make a decision on the spot about Tuesdays flight.  I
have missed a day’s work, forced to stay another night, forced to take public trans in an unknown
city and forced to stay in a siblings house overnight unplanned & uninvited.  I kept my cool in
Logan airport becaquse the ticket girls did the best they could.  But I am IRATE.  ******* owes me
an explanation and a full refund.  I will not fly you again if you do not handle this properly. 
Rude Floor agents, mis information and mismanagement.  I await your response before I tell all I
know what happened.  There is no EXCUSE for this.

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the sound and the fury

Ain’t it great  
it’s double-oh-8 
From up the Yukon to the southern states 
From across the pond and further east 
to the neon home of the Hollywood beast 
 
A force is channeled you know it’s true 
Feel the love, feel the blues. 
 
Stand in line 
Blow your mind 
He’ll send a chill right up your spine 
More than fret work, a movable feast 
Sung from the heart, to say the least 
 
A force is channeled you know it’s true 
Feel the love, feel the blues. 
 
Wrote this song 
didn’t take too long 
Didn’t come from bottle, pipe or bong 
From British blues to East Bay grease 
The borders we cross will never cease 
 
A force is channeled you know it’s true 
Feel the love, feel the blues. 
 
BJJ the FDOL 
 
Happy New Year, one and all!

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Happy New Year!

I’m going to brag on my wife.  Better yet, here she is, sporting her Rollins College shirt.tia_blog3.jpgAfter all this time.  I haven’t made her mad enough to leave for more than an hour or two.  Thanks for the love, you fine thing.  Happy New Year, one and all. 

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